Diamanda Hagan





November 20th, 2011



December 7th, 2011



Marvel Legends Baron Zemo



ML X-23 head, ML Angel Hands,
Movie Maniacs Shaft Jacket, Buffy
Deluxe Faith Hair



Apoxy Sculpt, Citadel Paint,
Marabu Paint, Glues, 1 wooden
bead, 1 small metal rod (lego
car shaft), aluminum foil

Points of


~ 30

Profile Right
BackProfile Left
At work
Meme making

Character & Intent

No, really,
          hail her.

One of my favorite forms of entertainment at this time is the
bizzare, highly derivative and unendingly wonderful genre of the comedic
internet reviewer. In a genre largely inspired by Mystery Science Theatre 3000,
Brave young women and men willingly consume not only the worst, but also the 
most uncharted bits of entertainment out there and share their opinions
in funny, bizarre and creative ways.

And while there might be some names that are more well-known in the field,
if it is funny, bizarre and creative that you want, you simply cannot miss
Diamanda Hagan.

While most of these critics assume fictional, often  charmingly-despicable 
personas for their work, none have taken the concept as far as Hagan has.

Her character merely does reviews in her spare time. Her seldom-seen "dayjob"
is nothing less than the tyrannical rule of her own country, aptly known as Haganistan.
Wearing sensibly flamboyant clothes, white facepaint (...or is it?) with ever-changing
magenta markings and somewhat unpredictable, brightly-colored hair, she broadcasts
to us from a bunker in one of several compounds that form the seat of her power.

Evil, vile, hateful, depraved and gleefully sadistic as she is, she rarely hesitates to
put her artificially-grown, quasi-faceless minions to severe physical harm as she
demolishes whatever movie or show that has fallen into her iron fist which is not
actually literally made of iron.

And the things which she does review...
Well, why should a nigh-immortal, evil god-queen know any limits or restraints?
From classic BBC serials over kids movies to modern horror to porn to the most obscure,
shot-on-a-buck-fifty exploitation gorefest, nothing put to film is safe.

While the Lecher Bitch's style might be unusual and jarring at first, if you don't mind
seeing bits and pieces of far-out movies, it will only take you only a moment to overcome
the initial confusion and bewilderment before you will grow addicted to Diamanda Hagan's
outlandish charme and witty humor.

So do check her out... If you are not too weak!

I assume that it should be fairly obvious that I am a fan of her work. And
since the fact that she has what might be the most unique and unusual looks in
the world of  reviewing while being criminally underrespresented in fanart has
left me no alternative but to create this figure. Also, I really wanted to make it
because it's fun.
Interestingly, this has been one of my fasted works since I started on super-
articulated figures. Very, very likely because I was also super-motivated.


This action figure began its existence, not entirely inappropriately, as another evil
tyrant: Baron Zemo. The removal of glued bits was followed by the inevitable
decapitation and breast enlargement procedure as well as the warm glow of
knowing that I would get to phrase it that way later on.

The head stems from the black-suited version of X-23. Obviously, the face required
some modifications to approach something that could generously be consdired a
likeness. I did also attempt to modify the body's neckjoint into a balljoint, but
unfortunately, the measurements didn't quite work out and the resulting
articulation is more akin to a simple cut swivel joint. The neck also
ended up looking a bit short, which is the typical result of a lack
of double-checking.
The hair and facepaint required a bit of pondering on my part, since both
are subject to change in the videos often. I could just have gone with the
style that went with the outfit in my reference material, but the red/pink
markings were a bit understated there, and I felt that an action figure
should probably go a little further over the top, especially since
it helps the sculpt to get closer to an acceptable likeness.
I went with pink for her hair since that is her most popular and
most recent color as of the time of the creation. And again, it's just
more vibrant. By the way, it is surprisingly hard to find hot pink
when it comes to model colors. Both Vallejo and Games Workshop
do not offer this color at all. Is there not a single Space Marine
with a bit of style out there?
As a final note on the head's painting process - No matter how much
of her videos I combed through, I was never able to determine her
actual eye color. So I ultimately just went with "as dark as her soul".

The hands came from Angel (if memory serves). I could have used
Zemo's original hands, but they are obviously be-gloved, and Diamanda
very rarely, if ever, is. Also, I would have liked the hands to be a tad
smaller, but these were the best match I had available.

The boots are just slightly modified from Zemo's own. I merely cut
off the furry bits and resculpted the gaps. I did take some small liberties
with the pants. They are not based on anything I have actually seen Hagan
wear, but her format usually only calls for her to be seen from the waist up,
and what trousers were beheld in the odd shot-from-afar did not prove to be
remarkable, so I just sculpted over Zemo's superhero genre muscle tone and
went with a dirty bluish-green that would compliment the outfit in a
supervillainious way. (Can't go wrong with purple and green!)

The upper-body attire turned out to be a little trickier than I had anticipated.
I had consciously chosen one of my favorites assemblies from her show outfits,
but only once I hard started working on it, I realized that I would be cramming
three (or, practically, 2.5) layers under a jacket that wasn't designed for this
body to begin with. I am fairly satisfied with the results, but of course it does
look a bit, well, crammed.

Obviously, I didn't sculpt the entire net-shirt under the black layer (which I realized
too late to actually be a vest), but what is visible was difficult enough to represent.
After various failed attempts, I settled for rolling the textured grip of my hobby
knife over the Apoxy sculpt to create a web-like pattern. After that, the red
shirt was not too terribly difficult.
The jacket (originally belonging to Shaft, which I think would probably amuse
Diamanda herself) had to be cut, stretched and glued in a few spots to actually
fit the torso. Also, I sculpted over the edges of the shoulder "sleeves" to make
the whole thing more coherent. As such, it is not removable, but it wouldn't
have been possible to remove without removing an entire arm first, anyway.

Work in progress

And that is pretty much it - Diamanda Hagan, now immortalized in plastic for the first time ever!



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